Do it yourself

I inherited diastema from my mother. Diastema is the name for the gap in the front teeth. All my friends were wearing braces in high school, but I did not. I wanted braces. I did not wear glasses. I wanted glasses. I guess you want what you don't have. But why would I want THOSE 2 things?

But John Fountain, who I've known all my life, unwittingly saved my parents hundreds of dollars in orthodontist bills. Let me explain.

My gap was so big through 8th grade, that I could put my tongue in sideways through it. But in 9th grade, John saved me. John wore braces. People in the 1960's wore rubber bands to hold their top brace to their bottom brace in the back of their mouth and, I guess, had to change them out frequently. He kept them on hand. We had French I together in 9th grade.

Now, I am about to tell you a "do it yourself" story. I WOULD advise any of you or your children trying this before seeing an orthodontist. This was the first of many "do it yourself dentistry" that I performed. See below for another, not school related (except that I used to tell my students about my other "tooth" story.) ***

Anyway, back to 1967. I suppose in those years the only ways to possibly move teeth were to choose among the following ways that I recently looked up:

"To fix the front gap between your central incisor teeth, you can either use:

1 - Bonding (white fillings).

2 - Porcelain veneers.

3 - Orthodontistry with braces.

4 - Invisible orthodontistry (Invisalign).

5 - Use Teeth Effect Bands."

Well, I didn't know about #5 in 1967. I am not sure orthodontists or dentists WANTED us to know about that last one. But that's exactly what I did, thanks to John Fountain. We had French I class together and John carried around his rubber bands. I asked John if he would mind sharing his unused rubber bands during French. We had 7 periods in 1967. We did not have block scheduling...French I was an hour long. So, he shared and I put 2 rubber bands around my front 4 teeth for ONE HOUR for only ONE WEEK and brought those suckers together. No kidding.

Horrified? Or am I smart? Well, here's another. You decide:

***In the early 1980's, I was drinking a coca-cola from a bottle (that's my story and I'm sticking to it - because I used to tell this story to my students) when someone came up from behind me and knocked my elbow as I was about to take a sip and caused my arm to push up to my teeth, knocking a half-moon chip on the front of those no-gap front teeth.

Here's the thing. Since I had success with my own 1967 dentist kit, I thought, "I'm not paying for a dentist to fix this. 'I'LL DO IT MYSELF.' " WHAT is "do it yourself" in regards to a chipped tooth? Well, you've got it...a FILE!

That coca-cola had made me dizzy (Students, I told you it was a coke bottle and that's my story that I am sticking to) and I went home and pulled out my angel hair nail file (a very light, fine file) and got up close in my mirror and started filing away. Then when I felt that I had evened up both sides of the chip and there was no longer a half-moon shape, but one long line of enamel (I have square teeth), then I quit. Don't want to get too close to the nerve, right?

Anyway, now one tooth is a little - just a smidgen- shorter than the other one. But at least it's straight! And it didn't cost me a dime! I'd tell this story to my students and then walk around the classroom showing off my handiwork. They were in awe, I must say (or was it shock?) What a craftsman.

Now, I DON'T suggest your try this last creative dentistry on your own. Enough is enough...even I think this day and time I should seek professional help...take that as you will.