Learn by example

John Donne, from your favorite class in high school - British Literature, wrote metaphysical poetry which is characterized by the use of metaphysical conceits (or unusual surprise comparisons) and paradoxes (a statement that seems to contradict but actually tells the truth.)

Now, don't leave this page. It gets better. It is really going to be funny.

While teaching "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" to 12th grade students, I was not really happy about having to be enthusiastic about this dumb poem. I mean it. It's a dumb poem.

I'll save you from having to read the entire thing like I wrote before, earlier, about the bird...(see below if you dare), so let me summarize: Donne compares in detail about how two lovers are like the legs of a compass. Yes, it qualifies as a metaphysical poem, but what a stupid idea. Now, I am not talking about a modern compass but as Wikipedia states, "Compasses are usually made of metal, and consist of two parts connected by a hinge which can be adjusted. Typically one part has a spike at its end, and the other part a pencil, or sometimes a pen. Circles can be made by fastening one leg of the compasses into the paper with the spike, putting the pencil on the paper, and moving the pencil around while keeping the hinge on the same angle. The radius of the circle can be adjusted by changing the angle of the hinge."

Lovers are like a compass. Right.

But I try to make it interesting. I talk about how the woman is the "hearth and home" of the house. This being the straight leg of the compass. The man "the hunter and gatherer." This being the leg that can circle out but comes back. They are hinged together, I say, like 'true souls.' Crap talk.

I even demonstrate. I hold my hands above my head like in a yoga prayer pose. I stand firm on my left leg while I swing out my right like a compass leg would. I do this several times. They look at me strangely.

Then I say, "Ok. Did you like this poem?"
Some nod yes.

"Do you think I presented it to you in an interesting way so you could remember this poem?"
I think they ALL nod yes to this.

Then I slap them with this: "This is the most stupid poem I have ever read! Do you think I like getting up here making stupid things interesting? Do you think I woke up this morning telling myself, 'Hooray! I get to teach the compass poem today!' ? Well, I didn't. And what I want to say to you is that if I CAN GET UP AND ACT LIKE I LIKE BEING HERE TODAY DOING THIS...YOU CAN ACT LIKE YOU LIKE BEING HERE TODAY AND DOING THIS."

Lesson learned.